EXPAT EYE
My six-year-old daughter said something mind-altering the other day.
We were nearing the end of our long nightly walk when she sidled over, beckoned me to my knees, and delivered several soft kisses to my cheek and neck. “Daddy,” she said in the loving little voice that has brought me so much joy. “You will still feel these kisses when you die.”
And just like that, my world changed.
I understood, of course, what had prompted her stunning declaration. At 77, I’m far older than most fathers with children her age. It’s something I consider often these days as I take measures to increase my chances of seeing her grow up, including that brisk daily walk.
What her sweet pronouncement told me, however, was that she’s thinking of it too.
“Thank you,” I said, as cheerfully as I could. “I will definitely keep those kisses with me forever. But don’t you worry, sweetheart, I will stay with you as long as I can. Which I hope will be a very long time.”
And so we returned home in peace.
I was reminded of that tender exchange by a recent piece in the Wall Street Journal informing the world that the oldest of the so-called baby boomers will celebrate their 80th birthdays this year. Boomers, you might recall, are those of us born between 1946 and 1964, the years following World War II when millions of young men — and some women — returned home to make babies, resulting in, yes, a veritable baby boom.
Being the largest generation the world had yet seen, we certainly threw our weight around. Our desires created new markets, and our styles created new trends. Our music resonated loudly, much of it surviving to this day. And politically, we changed the world, creating a newly invigorated movement for social justice while both fighting and opposing the Vietnam War.
Whether all that ultimately benefited humanity is a discussion for another day. Whatever your opinion, however, one thing’s clear: that boomers have had — and, to some extent, still maintain — an oversized impact. “...a generation that shaped much of our past is shaping the future...” the Journal opined. More specifically, said Joseph Coughlin, director of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology AgeLab, “They are reinventing old age.”
Which brings us to my point.
Obviously, average global life expectancy has soared since the first boomers arrived in 1946. Then the median lifespan stood at just 45-48 years, whereas now most people live to 73 or 74. In the West, not surprisingly, those numbers were and are significantly higher: from the mid-60s then to the current median age of 80-83. None of which has satisfied the world’s remaining 1.2 billion baby boomers who, in America anyway, now aspire on average to reach 93.
“We were more like free souls,” explained one near-80-year-old still working at a financial tech company he founded with his son. “That allowed us to think out of the box.”
These days it translates into two major concerns: staying healthy and figuring out how to spend those extra years.
In my case, whatever time I have left will largely be devoted to caring for my two young children: a 15-year-old boy and the aforementioned six-year-old girl. They’re not my first, of course; those would be another 38-year-old son and 41-year-old daughter from a previous marriage. But the younger ones now occupy most of my time, energy, and a significant portion of my savings.
I never planned it that way. Nor did I envision my late 70s unfolding quite like this. But, hey, I’m a proud baby boomer; one of those ostensibly “free souls” who’s “reinventing old age.”
If I live to be 93, my daughter will be just 22. So I’m aiming for 100 to accompany her down the aisle, even if it’s in a wheelchair. Bottom line: when that little girl pecks me with kisses for eternity, it’s not a casual thing.
And eternity is how long I expect to feel them.
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David Haldane is an award-winning American journalist and author with homes in Southern California and Northern Mindanao. His latest book is Dark Skies: Tales of Turbulence in Paradise.